When I lived in Arkansas, I
thought that Arkansas had the most colorful
political culture of any state in the Union.What other state had a municipal
secession?(North
Little Rock from Little
Rock)What
other state had one city’s version of animal control being dumping the boogers
in the neighboring town? (As retribution for seceding, Little
Rock would dump its strays in North
Little Rock, derisively dubbed “Dogtown”.)What other state had to have military escorts
for high school students? (Central High crisis….)What other state has glass in the gallery of
the capitol to prevent citizens from pelting their legislators with rocks and
garbage?What other state had Clinton
and the Hutchinson
brothers?What other had had its
governor living in a triple wide?
Yup, Arkansas
is a very colorful place.I remember a
small town mayor getting shot because he was mistaken for a squirrel (I still
don’t understand why he was in a tree during squirrel season).I remember another small town where the mayor
would drive down the main street giving his opponents the bird.I remember that “Sweet, Sweet Connie”, the
groupie made famous in the song “We’re An American Band”, ran for mayor of Little Rock.(She would be spotted at town hall meetings
drunk and el commando….)
However, as colorful as Arkansas is, it pails to Oklahoma.When I first moved here going on seven years ago, a friend of mine
commented that Oklahoma has the worst
political leadership, hands down, of any state in the Union, including Louisiana.One thing that Arkansas
could always feel good about was that no matter how bad it was, it was always
better than Louisiana.After seven years in the SoonerState,
I must reluctantly agree with my friend, that Louisiana is better.Both states have produced numerous enigmatic
politicians over the years.The
difference is in Louisiana,
they were intentionally so.
The enigma that is the typical Oklahoma politician can first be found
before statehood.One of the movers and
shakers who pushed hard for Oklahoma
statehood was “Alfalfa” Bill Murray.If
you don’t know who “Alfalfa” Bill is, he is the famous Oklahoma
governor who declared war on Texas over that
state’s refusal to open a free bridge across the Red River.There is a famous photograph of Alfalfa Bill
standing on the bridge with the uniformed national guard
behind him.He was very popular with Okies but very unpopular with FDR, and when your state is in
the throes of a Depression and need some help from the Feds, that dose not bode
well for your state.At
all.In just over one hundred
years of statehood, we’ve had more than one governor thrown out of office.We had another chastise citizens for not
electing his wife to Congress.I won’t
even mention the longstanding blood feuds.
It doesn’t stop with the chief executive.We are a state that had oil wells on our
capitol grounds, but didn’t finish the building for almost a hundred
years.We are a state whose capital city
stole (Oklahoma City)
the seat of government from another city (Guthrie) by clandestine means.We have a state that used to be two very
different territories (Indian and Oklahoma)
that were forced to become one in a shotgun wedding presided over by the
federal government.We have a state
whose two largest cities, Tulsa and Oklahoma City, well,
despise each other.We are a state with
two sovereign, separate governments. (The government of the
State of Oklahoma
and the tribal governments, who do not have to answer to the state government.)
Oklahoma ranks in the bottom ten in education,
income, health, two-parent households.We have roads so bad, that in some places you can see through the bridge
decks.We had an accident in Tulsa a
couple of years ago where a driver hit a pot hole that was so big, it caused
her to lose control and she flipped off a bridge onto another car.Oklahoma was
the forty-sixth state to join the Union, and
it ranks about forty-sixth in just about every category.You’d think that with so much improvement
needed, that our legislators and local politicians wouldn’t have time for
anything else.But, this is Oklahoma.
No, instead of worrying about improving our education, our
health, our roads, our politicians are tackling the big issues like designating
the watermelon as the state vegetable and trying to ban the use of paper
napkins at barbeque restaurants.We have
an exceptionally high number of divorces and single-parent households.We have counties where just about one in four
families are considered poor.We have
counties where you have to drive out of the county to get a livable wage.We have a road system where all of the “good”
highways are tolled.We have an
educational system where the most important thing is winning the state football
championship.(We have one high school
whose stadium seats over 10000 people.)We have a huge meth problem in those areas where hopelessness is
endemic.And how is our wise Legislature
dealing with these problems?
By cutting taxes.The solution to everything is to cut taxes.But wait, there’s more.The solution to every problem is to cut taxes
and reaffirm our Christian values.We
have a legislator who is on a crusade against libraries, because one local
library had a book about a gay couple that she found offensive.After all, the gay lifestyle is the reason
why the roads are bad.It couldn’t be
that these wackos keep cutting taxes and there isn’t
any money to fix the roads; no, it’s because of the gays.This same legislator now wants every
Oklahoman to sign a morality oath affirming that they are God-fearing Christian
people who believe that marriage is between a man and a woman and is forever
whenever they get their driver’s license.I guess because my marriage didn’t last forever, I have suddenly become
a bad driver and should no longer be permitted to driver.The big debate in this past legislative
session wasn’t about how to reduce poverty or improve education; that’s piddling
and unimportant stuff.No, the big issue
is whether or not to put a monument to the Ten Commandments on the capitol
grounds.
Study after study shows that financial insecurity is a big
reason why couples get divorced.I am no
exception.Throughout my marriage, my ex
was always stressed about money and financial security; she was so stressed
that she would take unnecessary risks to eliminate that insecurity, which
always resulted in further insecurity.As this cycle spiraled viciously downward, it eventually broke our
marriage, as I didn’t understand her stress and she didn’t understand why I
didn’t understand.It seems logical to
me that since financial security is a big reason why people get divorced, that
if you make people more financially secure, then there will be fewer
divorces.But, this is Oklahoma, and logic isn’t welcome here.Our Legislature’s solution
to the high rate of divorce?A
minimum waiting period of 90 days from when the divorce is filed to when it is
final, so that couples can kiss and make up and work out their problems.(Let me clarify that this only applies to
people with children, as divorce is bad for children. Or so they say.) While some people file for divorce in a fit of
passion, most do not, and have agonized over the decision for months.If financial stress is the reason for the
divorce, how is waiting 90 days going to resolve that?Unless that 90 days
comes with a sizable financial infusion, it doesn’t.(Thanks to the constant tax cuts, there’s no
money left for an infusion, even if the Legislature wanted to give one.)In fact, it acerbates the problem, as it
forces the divorcing spouses into a financial limbo where their assets are
frozen and unusable.
Oklahomans have major statewide elections on the horizon in
2010.Since our governor is term
limited, we will have a new governor.More
than likely, we will have other new statewide officials, too.Oklahomans have a choice to make – keep electing
the same colorful cast of characters who say the “right” things but accomplish
nothing, or elect some new faces who don’t resort to base demagoguery and who
are willing to make the tough choices to improve our state.I like tax cuts just like the next person,
and in many cases, tax cuts are the right choice.But they are not the solution for
everything.Tough times call for tough
choices.
Enough with the demagogues! After one hundred years, it has
gotten old, and harmed our state.I will
not vote for any candidate who does not provide thoughtful solutions to our
problems.Just banning this and banning
that and cutting taxes and being a good Christian isn’t enough.Any candidate who uses the words “God” “Christian”
“conservative” “morals” will not get my vote, as those are words, not
solutions.Electing leaders based on
rhetoric is not a way to run a government. We’ve had our one hundred years of snake
oil.We deserve better.
