“The Fine Print”, by M.H. Schrader
WHAT WOULD BEN FRANKLIN SAY?
(Published 24 September 1997 in the Neighborhood Journal. Posted 10 March 2003.)
Mornings
are the toughest time in the Schrader household. It doesn’t seem to matter how hard we try, we just can’t seem to
get our act together in the morning.
Perhaps its age. Perhaps its
children. Perhaps its the aging caused
by children. All I know is that of late
it seems to be getting ever increasingly difficult to “rise and shine.” The old body would rather stay in a nice
cozy bed, thank you very much.
It
wasn’t always this way. In fact, when
Mrs. Schrader and I first started dating, one of the things that truly annoyed
her was that I was a morning person.
Five in the morning I would be up and ready to greet the world. I guess, compared to Mrs. Schrader, I still
am a morning person. When I get up, I’m
up; no transition, no grogginess. The
only problem is that the threshold, which was three and four in college, and
five in my pre-marriage days, has now passed six.
When
I was in college, I subscribed to the Ben Franklin school of thought--”early to
bed, early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise.” Of course, when I was in college, I was not
wealthy--what college student is?
Healthy--well, let’s just say I was prone to really freak ailments, like
the time I pulled a neck muscle while teaching and had to wear a neck brace for
a week. And, to top it off, everyone
kept asking me if my car was totaled in the wreck I didn’t have. (I prefer to have my cars wrecked while they
are parked and I am not in them--oh yeah, that was a previous column. Never mind!)
As
for wisdom? Well--I’ll let you decide
for yourself. No comment.
Having
struck out on all three rewards touted by Old Ben Franklin, I found a different
motivation for my “rise and shine” sleep habits (much to the chagrin of
roommates and dormitory neighbors)--noise, or lack of. At college, it seems, everybody and their
brothers, aunts, cousins, and great uncles Fred are night owls, and stay up
until one or two in the morning. The
problem with living in such an environment when one wants to do homework is
that one is unable to do homework.
First, there are the constant interruptions from people popping in to
chat. Second is the noise, and lots of
it. My solution to the problem was to
go to bed early, like say nine or ten, and get up early, at three or four. That way, when I was ready to study, I would
be fresh and undisturbed. Of course,
sometimes this habit would cause great consternation with neighbors when I
would get onto them about being noisy at nine-thirty, but hey, I had to right
to get some sleep, you know.
This
“early to bed-early to rise” phenomenon worked pretty well until marriage. You see, Mrs. Schrader is not an early
riser. She is, or should I say was, one
of those night owls, who went to bed late and got up late. And, let me add, is one of those who you
pretty much have to hit over the head with a rolling pin to rouse in the
morning.
I
guess I gained some wisdom from all those early mornings, because it did not
take long for me to figure out the early risers really tee off later risers,
and that the union of a morning person and a night person can sometimes
be--well rather volatile.
Of
course, what wisdom did not cure, time and age sure have. I’m not quite as spry as I once was. I don’t know if it the result of being
thirty-ish or the result of having children, but now it seems that I can’t get
up early for the life of me. Oh sure,
there are the rare occasions, but in general, the morning spring I once had is
gone. But I still go to bed early.
“Early
to bed, late to rise, makes a man--well rested.” Hmm. Kind of has a ring
to it.