“The Fine Print”, by M.H. Schrader

 

GET A LIFE, WILL YA?

 

(Published in the Neighborhood Journal 17 September 1997.  Posted 10 March 2003.)

 

       Perhaps it’s just me, but it seems that people are taking life way too seriously these days.  Humor has become an endangered species.  Stop and think about it--when is the last time you really had fun?  When is the last time you told a really good joke?  Or heard one?

       I know you may not believe this, but I tend to view things with a healthy dose of sarcasm.  Now too much sarcasm is a bad thing, I agree--but a little bit sure goes a long way in keeping the blood pressure down and keeping the temper in check.

       I take a very simple, if not convoluted, approach to life.  I figure if I don’t have enough money to pay the bills, then spending an extra five bucks to go out to lunch won’t hurt anything.  Let’s face it, that five bucks isn’t enough to pay the bills, so what’s the point in being miserly with it?  I might as well enjoy life.  And five bucks won’t make a difference in the grand scheme of things.

       So to all you grumps and sourpusses I say--LIGHTEN UP!!

       This is especially true where the children are concerned.  Let’s let kids be kids, shall we?  It seems that we, as parents, are too concerned about imposing our beliefs and desires on our kids and are denying them their lives.

       Take, for example, this whole Disney boycott thing.  Yes, I must agree, I find the show “Ellen” morally repugnant.  That is why I do not watch it.  But, quite frankly, my children do not understand politics, nor the fact that Disney is a huge corporation that owns a network, nor the ongoing moral debate regarding the moral message of the Disney corporate policy.  All my children know is that they like “101 Dalmatians”, “Snow White”, and “Cinderella”.  And, frankly, I do too.

       I would find it unfathomable to deny my kids these quality, wholesome programs because of some corporate policy that I have absolutely no control over and that, quite frankly, will have absolutely no impact on my life.  I really could care less what “Ellen” says about morality; I am not going to change my views.  And, confidentially between you and me, I think the program stinks.

       Then you have those who look for every reason to complain about discrimination or harassment.  You know the ones.  The ones who claimed that “The Lion King” was racist because the bad lion had a black mane and the good lion had a light mane.  The ones who found folic symbols in the cover art of “The Little Mermaid”.  Do these people not have a job?  I don’t know about you, but I barely have time to work, eat, and sleep, much less have time to find some deep psychological meaning to everything.  Hello!!  Not everything is supposed to have a deeper meaning!  Some things are meant to be taken at face value.

       Why, perchance, I am writing about all this?  Well, I’m still ticked at the behavior of the other coach at soccer this past weekend.

       This coach was having team meeting and huddles---with a team of four-year-olds!  I got irritated when he tried to pull some shenanigans and told me that this was the strategy in soccer.  Yes, I agree, if you’re an adult.  These were four year old girls, for heaven’s sake.  They were lucky if they even knew what direction to kick the ball.  Strategy?  Give me a break.

       I will say that despite his drill sergeant tactics, and that our team lost, we, my soccer parents and I, enjoyed watching him coach.  Okay, let me clarify that--we enjoyed laughing at him.  At practice there were many jokes about how the parents of the other team had matching jerseys (as Joan Rivers would say, PA-LEESE) and how there is probably a super secret barbed wire camp somewhere in the Ouchitas for four-year-old girls to practice soccer.

       It’s good to know that some people have a life.

 

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