“The Fine Print”, by M.H. Schrader

Vindication for Gov. Faubus?

(Published 12 February 1997 in the Neighborhood Journal. Posted in toto 1 October 2002.)

The story of the birth of Christ is probably the most well-known story in the world. We all know, for example, that Joseph and Mary were poor common folks--you know, the “element” that the good citizens of Maumelle want to keep out. We all also know that there was not a room to be found in Bethlehem that night, and so the couple stayed in a barn--and Jesus was born in that barn, and slept in a manger.

And now (with apologies to Paul Harvey), “...the rest of the story.” It seems that Joseph and Mary belonged to the Middle-Eastern Association Promoting Equality in Living (MAPLE for short), and MAPLE, upon hearing of their troubles, proceeded to file civil lawsuits against every inn in Bethlehem. According to the suit, filed in Roman court, the inns were guilty of discrimination. You see, the inns were using being full as a ruse; actually, they did not want to rent to Joseph and Mary because he was just a lowly carpenter. It was just sheer coincidence that there were no rooms available.

Now the Roman tribunal laughed at the case and threw it out of court. And the emperor, not liking to see his already overloaded court system tied up with frivolity, had the lawyer deported from the empire.

Of course, we all know that this never happened. Jesus was born amongst the animals and lived a life appropriate to a poor carpenter’s son. And never complained about it. And, if you think about it, if anyone has a right to complain, the Almighty certainly does. If any being should be treated like a god, it’s --God. But, He wasn’t, and didn’t fuss about it. He accepted the inequality of being a human being.

I firmly believe, however, that if ACORN (the Association of Community Organizations for Reform, Now!) had been in existence at the time of the Lord’s birth, there would have been a whopper of a discrimination lawsuit. (Probably discrimination based on divinity.) You see, ACORN believes that when a person of color doesn’t get what he wants, then it’s not because he wasn’t worthy, but because some bigoted whitey intentionally denied him because he was of color. In ACORN’s eyes, worthiness is not an issue, as every black person is worthy and every white person is some dumb, bigoted hick who would jump at the chance to lynch a poor, suffering black person.

I bring this up because of three (that’s right, three) ridiculous lawsuits filed recently by ACORN. Are you ready to shake your head in disbelief? If so, then read on.

The first suit has been filed against Pulaski Bank and Trust. It seems a black couple went into Pulaski for a home mortgage. After a few weeks, they had not gotten approval (nor had they been denied), so they pulled their application and went to First Commercial, where their loan application was approved in a week. Therefore, it can be concluded (by ACORN at least) that Pulaski Bank did not approve them because they were black.

First of all, the couple pulled their application BEFORE the bank had reached a decision on whether to approve or deny. Given that fact, how can ACORN ascertain that it would have been a denial? I have no earthly idea. Second, I know from my own experiences with buying houses that loan applications may take several months to be approved, especially at a small bank like Pulaski. Pulaski has four or so branches; First Commercial, on the other hand, is the largest bank in the state. Which means more employees. Which means that they should be able to process a loan much faster than a smaller bank like Pulaski.

The second lawsuit is against a realtor. Now I’m not a big fan of realtors (I’ve had several bad experiences), but I don’t think they’re racist because they don’t want to show properties in the rougher part of town. But that is exactly what ACORN is claiming. I don’t know about you,. but I really can’t say I blame any realtor for not wanting to show properties in those parts of Little Rock where the probability of being murdered is high. It IS just a coincidence that these areas are predominately black. I guess I must be a racist, too, because I won’t drive in these high crime areas of Little Rock because I value my life too much. And, I know black people who feel the same way. I guess they’re racists, too.

Ready to laugh? That was my reaction to the third lawsuit. It seems ACORN believes that several area nursing homes are racist because--are you sitting down?--their brochures only show white people. That’s right, because their brochures only show white people, they are sending a subliminal message to black people that they are not welcome. At one of these homes, many of the residents are black and one-third of the employees are, too. But, according to ACORN, blacks are not welcome. Huh?

What really gets me about ACORN, though, is that the rabble rousers (at least the ones I have met) are do-gooder whites from the north. The two that have called me a racist have been from Minnesota and New York.

You know, during the Central High Crisis, Governor Faubus claimed that he sent out the National Guard because he had heard that white do-gooders were going to stir things up to make Arkansas an example for the nation. Many people scoffed, and called him a racist. “Just a lame excuse, Governor.”

Given ACORN’s actions, and, more importantly, those who are prompting them, it seems that Governor Faubus may yet be vindicated. He’s probably looking down at us, telling us, “I told you so.”

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