tfp21

"THE FINE PRINT"

The musings of Michael Schrader

POLITICAL CORRECTNESS BEGETS INDIGNANT AMERICANS
(Written under the psuedonym, "George Steinkrueger", 25 July 1996; published in the Neighborhood Journal 31 June 1996. Posted in toto with Preface 3 September 2001)

PREFACE -- I heard about the Neighborhood Journal through a co-worker who had been asked to write a column. After contacting the publishers, I came on board in the second issued and stayed with them (with the exception of two interludes) until the last issue at the end of December 1999. The Neighborhood Journal proved to be an excellent forum, as the publishers did not edit the columns (except for brevity); in other words, the readers saw the column exactly as I wrote it, including the headlines. (This column did not have a headline; it was added at the time of posting). Of all of the columns that I wrote, only one was ever edited (it was too long), and despite the controversial nature of both myself and my columns, the publishers always stood behind me, an unheard of loyalty that is very rare in this day and age.
      When I resumed writing the column, I assumed the pen name “George Steinkrueger”, an old family name that had belonged to my great-grandfather and my great-uncle. The Steinkrueger name died out with the passing of the last of my great-aunts, and so to memorialize the name I adopted it as my pen name. I wrote under the Steinkrueger name until my first hiatus in November 1996 when I had knee surgery and began devoting my time to interests closer to home. You see, the Neighborhood Journal was based in Beebe, Arkansas, a good hour from Little Rock, and as I sent in my columns electronically, I really did not have a tie to the community. Since I was home a lot after the surgery (honestly, I just did not feel like going anywhere), I started to become involved in my neighborhood association and local politics.

       One of the catchwords of this decade is the phrase “politically correct.” What does this mean? This means trying not to offend anyone, for the offended one may be a voter, which may be costly politically. After all, what politician wants to offend a voter, for it is the voters who have given the politician his power, and it is the voters who take it away. And, after all, it is a well known fact that all politicians are egotistical weasels whose only purpose in life is reelection, and so no politician in his right mind would ever want to offend a voter. Luckily, columnists do not share such concerns, as I have already proven my political incorrectness with my use of the pronoun “he”, which means I’m a sexist pig who wants to keep women barefoot and pregnant, and by my stereotyping of all politicians as egotistical weasels, as that comment has probably hurt the feelings of politicians everywhere. (After all, politicians are people too.)
       Initially, “political correctness” (PC-ism, for short) was a way to erase old, and many times offensive, stereotypes. Italians are no longer referred to as “wops” or “dagos”; Jews are no longer “kikes.” The problem with any good thing, however, is that too much of it is bad. So it is with PC-ism.
       Because of PC-ism, the pronoun he is bad. To refer to God as a he is evil, because it is offensive to women. After all, God could be a she. So, to be PC, the bible has now been rewritten, and all references to “he” have either been neutered (i.e. made genderless, like I have done with one of my cats) or been gender confused (like many people these days whom I can’t tell whether they are men or women). In other words, the “he” has been replaced by “it” or “he/she”.
       More PC-ism gone amok. Housewives are now household engineers. Garbagemen are now sanitation engineers. Manholes are now maintenance shafts. Short people are vertically challenge. Fat people are horizontally challenged. Atheists are theologically challenged. Sociopathic homicidal maniacs are socially challenged. The uncoordinated are athletically challenged.
        Do you stutter? You are verbally challenged. Did you flunk out of school? Don’t worry, you’re not a flunky anymore; now you’re academically challenged. Unemployed? Employment challenged. Poor? Financially challenged. You get the picture.
       The most extreme result of PC-ism is the changing of football team names. To be a warrior or a brave or an Indian tribe is bad, because it is offensive to the Indians. Especially the Washington Redskins. The argument is that there are no nicknames that could be deemed as offensive to whites. To that argument I counter with the New York Yankees. After all, for a Southerner to be called a Yankee is as derogatory as it gets. Southerners unite! Let’s protest this offense! Wouldn’t that surprise the Indians!
        Speaking of Indians, they are now Indigent Americans, which should not be confused with Indignant Americans, who are those Americans who are tired of having to worry about offending the Indigent Americans and all this silly political correctness!